Ever After
by Elizabeth Smith
Summary: Evil is hunting Zel. Angst. Divorce angst, lonliness angst, blowing things up angst. Lina/Zel.
1. Default Chapter

Prologue 

You've heard all the stories, haven't you? He saved the princess, they got married and lived happily ever after. And the story ends. 

But what happens after Happily Ever After? Surely that's not an end. 

Life goes on. They have their problems, solutions, and betrayals. But no one's ever seen fit to tell about them. Well, that's what this story is about. 

No, it's not a sequel. No, it's not a continuation. This is happily ever after. 

Where to begin? How about at the ending... 

* * *

Lina sat in her chair by the fire and sighed. She was sick of this. She was tired of this. She could not do this anymore. 

Lina was not cut out to be a housewife. 

Oh, she'd enjoyed it for the first two years. She'd lived with it the next five. She'd endured it the three afterwards. Of course she did. She had been in love. 

She sighed. Her husband, Gourry, looked over at her. "Lina? Are you alright?" 

"Yes." 

"Oh." He went back to deciphering his 'I can read' books. 

Lina sighed again. Yeah, she'd been in love. She'd been stupid. They'd last saved the world as a team over ten years ago. That was when she was really alive, when she was out doing something. But she had fallen in love. 

I was an idiot. 

Gourry had asked her to marry him. She'd blushed and agreed. 

Damn in-laws. His mother had insisted that they settle down. And have kids. 

I don't want kids. Lina wasn't exactly a great person with kids. Luckily, or unluckily, as the case may be, she had proved infertile. 

That put a wrench in mother-in-laws' plans...Gourry's mother had not been thrilled. But Lina and Gourry loved each other, So they were willing to live with it. 

But they couldn't really talk to one another. Gourry couldn't talk about the great meaning of spot's being able to run, and Lina couldn't discus her findings with him. Oh, they tried to humor each other, and Gourry pretended to listen, but it just infuriated Lina and depressed Gourry. 

Nothing was working. And it hadn't been for ten years. And Lina was tired of it. Very, very tired. 

* * *

"Your highness!" Zelgadis groaned. Just what he needed. He turned in his high-backed velvet chair (He hated the color, it stood out too much. Give him beige or grey any day) to face the middle aged man looking at him pleadingly. 

"Yes?" He managed without groaning. These people were remarkably unable to cope with the smallest problems. 

"There is a dispute on how to divide a pasture!" He wrung his hands. Before this, Zelgadis had never before realized that people actually wrung their hands. But, in Seyruun, they apparently did. 

"So split it in half?" 

"Good idea sire!!" The man ran off. 

Zelgadis suppressed a groan and returned to the paperwork. He liked paperwork. When you did paperwork, you didn't have to deal with people. 

Zelgadis had found a cure a while ago, but he still hated crowds. Really, really hated being the center of attention. But he and Amelia had been in love, and he had thought he could overcome it. 

Which was making him crankier, more withdrawn, and more temperamental by the day. He knew what was happening, but he couldn't do anything about it. 

Poor Amelia. She was feeling more and more ignored and hurt by the day. And she was still on the justice kick. I thought I could help her get over that. He sighed. I should have listened to all those sayings. Never enter a relationship thinking you can change someone. She's wanted to change him, too. But he just did not like people. He never would. 

Zelgadis was sick of it. He couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want to end u going crazy and killing his wife or something. 

* * *

Gourry looked at Lina, who was sitting in the rocker staring out the window again. She just wasn't happy. 

But to tell the truth, neither was he. He and Lina were complete opposites. That kind of thing never worked for long. 

Gourry thought long and hard. Which was a few weeks for him. And he came up with a solution. 

"Hey Lina! I have an idea! Let's get a divorce!" 

* * *

Amelia didn't know what to do. Zelgadis was getting colder and colder, withdrawn and icy. She couldn't even talk to him anymore. She's always thought that love conquered all, but it wasn't working. She was hurt, he was hurt, and life was just miserable for both of them. 

Maybe a divorce.... 

* * *

Back to Fanfiction!

On to Chapter 1!


	2. Ever After 01

Zelgadis managed to make it out of the palace without blowing something up. Dammit dammit dammit…It hurt. It really, really hurt. He couldn't believe Amelia had actually asked for a divorce.

_I wasn't happy, but…_You don't get married without caring about someone. You don't offer to give your entire life to someone, forever, unless you love them.

Even if it doesn't work out after, what was it, nine years? It seemed longer…you still felt, deep down, that that's where you belonged, that's who you wanted to spend your life with forever.

And when someone told you they didn't want to send _theirs_ with _you_…

_It hurts._

Zelgadis trudged along the dusty road out of Sailoon. He'd liked to have said he didn't know where it went, and that he didn't care, anywhere but there…but he knew exactly where every road out of sailoon went, how far it reached, and which roads it intersected. 

__

Trust me to know everything about my kingdom and hate it anyway. At least now he didn't have to wear that awful red velvet and fur robe. Ugh, the thing was hot, stuffy, heavy, and tended to make him stick out. That was the purpose, of course, but Zelgadis hated sticking out. He hadn't liked it even before he was a chimera, but it had enforced the feeling.

__

"I think it would be better for both of us if we got a divorce, Zelgadis-san." Even after they were married, She had still called him Zelgadis-_san_. It wasn't something he felt a married couple should adhere to, but she insisted…

When she said that, he was sure his heart was going to break. As much as he wished his heart was stone, unbreakable and untouchable, it just wasn't the case. He could only put up a shell, and what got through the shell only hurt more due to loss of conditioning of small hurts. And Amelia, telling him she didn't love him anymore…

__

I loved her. I still_ love her._ It was the position he hated. He didn't like being king.

__

She could have given her sister the crown, for instance, and come with me. But that was just selfish. There was no way she could get used to living like he did, any more than he could be happy as king. And he couldn't expect her to do that.

__

But…I thought…that maybe, just maybe…she loved me. You didn't divorce those you loved. Did you?

Zelgadis shoved those thoughts out of his mind. _I don't need to deal with this. I don't. I don't I don't I…gods, I must be going insane. I sound Like Lina._ He walked on.

***

Lina Inverse sneezed. _Just what I need, on top of all this. A cold. _She busied herself with eating as much as she could. When she was fighting others for it, She could keep her mind off of things. But there was no way She could ignore the bleeding in her heart right now.

_Love sucks._ Lina glared at her food, suddenly not hungry anymore. Se called for the waiter to give her the bill. She glumly looked at what was left of her dinner. _Great, First Gourry asks for a divorce, and then, if that's not enough, he ruins my meal!!_ It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair it wasn't fair it wasn't fair. 

_It hurts._ Lina lay her head on the table. _It hurts more than I can tell…_She stood up suddenly, knocking over her chair and scaring the poor newlyweds behind her. 

"What am I doing? I'm Lina Inverse! I don't have to deal with this! I'm gonna blow something up!" She dumped her Bag of coins on the table to pay for her meal and ran off.

The waiter turned. "hat? No tip? What a brat…" Pause. "Waitasec. I thought…AAAAH!! It's the ghost of Lina Inverse!! RUUUUN!!"

***

"Who the Hell are YOU??" The bandit leader managed. Over half of his group had been burned to cinders, and another fourth had been beaten up. All by a girl who looked about 17! 

Lina grinned. This was the one thing that could cheer her up. Beating up bandits. She did it any chance she got before, which wasn't often, thanks to a stupid in law…_Thank goodness I got rid of her…But…_In the process of doing that, she got rid of Gourry…

"AAAARGH! I'm gonna KILL you!!" She yelled at the bandit Leader, who cowered. "How dare you send me down into depression like that! I'm gonna roast you limbs and turn them into hot sauce!"

The bandit leader quailed. "Please! No! I'm sorry!! Don't hurt me!" He cowered.

Lina was disgusted. But, she was used to it. "You think that I, the great and powerful Lina Inverse would have mercy upon the likes of you?" She tossed her hair. "I think not!"

The bandit leader froze. "Masaka…I don't believe it! The bandit killer is dead! Some guy named Gourry Gabriev Killed her or something! You couldn't be her!" He looked at her strangely. "Besides, even if you WERE the Dra-matta, you wouldn't look like a little girl still. It's been at least ten years, there's no WAY even a girl THAT flatchested could ever--"

"FIREBALL!!!!!" Lina screeched, barely keeping from casting dragu slave. "Fireball! Fireball! Fireball!!" Ohhhh, the nerve of some people…

***

Zelgadis sat in a booth and wondered where he would head to. He couldn't stay anywhere near Sailoon. He couldn't deal with that. It hurt too much. But where else? He wasn't as young as he was…

_Oh, don't give me that shit. I can't have aged more than a year at the most since I lost my chimeratic form. _He thought to himself. _I do too much magic to get old that fast. But I'm still not used to traveling._

He'd gotten used to a featherbed. He'd gotten use to only sword practice to keep him fit. He was as lean, muscular, and able to kill things as ever, But he wasn't used to walking long distances, or sleeping on the ground for example.

_Ugh, I'd swear my back was a church from all the knots tied in it…_Oh no. That was stupid. He slunk into depression again. _I can't let go. I've been trying for the past week and I can't. Dammit, it hurts, it hurts…_

Amelia hadn't even let him take his old clothes. Since he insisted he wanted to go off without any of his former wealth, she'd said she at least wanted to dress him correctly. So now he got a black, sleeveless leather tunic, _Suede,_ he thought annoyedly, black leather leggings, and black boots. Both also suede. _I hate suede. _It wasn't that she'd wanted to make him happy, it was that she felt guilty. She'd only felt guilty, and had tried to compensate. It just made him feel more degraded, dejected, and unloved. 

_And let's not even _think_ about the cartload of shirts she made me take._ More linen than a man could use in a year had been put into the sleeves, honestly. She insisted he had to wear them under the tunic. _Ugh. At least I don't have to feel the suede. _He thought, staring darkly at his coffee. At least she's had a hood put into his tunic. Not that he needed one, but he felt more comfortable wearing it.

_Maybe I should look for Lina? Something's always happening around her. _No, He didn't want to do that. She'd married Gourry at the same one he and Amelia…Zelgadis choked up and glared at his drink. No way he'd be able to stand watching them. Not see such a happy, loving couple together that wasn't him and Amelia…

Zelgadis sighed and let his attention wander from the amazingly fascinating coffee cup.

"…And they say the ghost of Lina Inverse is haunting the woods off about twenty miles from here." Zel Stopped his thoughts short. Lina? She'd died? And he'd been so busy brooding he hadn't even noticed. Ugh. He thought hard. Amelia always praised his photographic memory. 

Now that he thought about it, He had seen an announcement fly by that the dra-matta had been killed. And he vaguely remembered that Amelia had been very weepy about it. But there hadn't been a funeral or anything. No one knew what happened to her, except that she disappeared. But everyone knew that Lina Inverse would never just disappear.

_I missed my best friend's death…_He thought slowly. _No wonder Amelia divorced me. I'm a cruel, heartless bastard. I'm a monster on the inside, and that's where it counts…_ Zelgadis fell even deeper into depression. Right now people were avoiding him within a five table radius because there were quite literally storm clouds over his head. This was obviously not his day.

"…The ghost of Lina inverse? HAH! Good one, Marc. So what if it is?"

"I swear! She attacked the Dragon Fang III's just yesterday! It's real!"

Zelgadis didn't like the sound of that. Ghosts shouldn't be hanging around that long. Maybe he'd better head in that direction, just in case…

***

"..and he said, calm as the breeze, 'How about a Divorce!' Can you believe that??" Lina looked at the remaining third of the bandit gang, who was terrified beyond words. A few of the newbies had wet their pants. "I mean, couldn't he have been a bit more tactful? And he was so damn CHEERFUL about it, too! OOOHH!" She threw her arms in the air.

The Frightened Bandit troupe just nodded timidly. They weren't sure how she had gotten on this subject, but it was keeping her from burning them all alive.

Lina continued to rant about that asshole of a husband she married.

***

BOOM!!!!

Zelgadis Turned to the explosion. That was definitely the direction the nearest bandit camp was in. 

_Spirits can't cast spells. This can't be a ghost. Perhaps a poser? A fan of lina? Someone who wants the reputation without the work?_ Zelgadis mused. Of course, it could be nothing at all. Just a normal 'oops, I was supposed to put the gunpowder _there_?' predicament, but it was worth checking out.

***

The bandit leader looked around futilely for a chance of escape. All he knew was that someone had asked about her figure, and she'd gone nuts. Now all he wanted was to get out alive.

One of the shadows moved. The leader rubbed his eyes. _Great, not only am I going to die but I'm going mad as well…_The shadow came into view. 

It was a rather nice looking young man, of about nineteen, with wispy, unruly violet hair and pale skin. He wore a black sleeveless tunic, boots and leggings, with a white linen shirt underneath. All in all, a very nice looking man. Very nice. He was lean, muscular, and a bit of a pretty boy…well, a lot of a pretty boy. But his hard, diamond blue eyes made him look like the type you definitely didn't want to run into in a dark alley. Or a well lit one. Or a lit street. Or a busy lit street. Or a crowded town square. Or a police station. Or…

The girl who had been ranting about her divorce turned to see what he was staring at. And she stared too. 

Not that she was old enough to have a divorce. She only looked about seventeen, at the most. No way she could have been married long enough to get a divorce. Her red hair was held back in a tattered looking headband, which had seen better days. She wore black leggings with deep purple boots and tunic, with a black shirt. She stopped shooting off those terrifying fireballs and squinted at the man, as of trying to find out who it was.

***

Lina looked the young man over. She knew him from somewhere, but she couldn't place him. He was certainly a very pretty thing, but his eyes made him older than he looked, made him seem in the slightest bit scary, and gave her the chills. Those eyes that went wide with recognition and suddenly filled with loneliness. 

"Lina! Lina, I thought you were dead!" The bandits had all taken her momentary confusing as a chance to run for it, that were in the next county by now. The young man suddenly swept her into a hug and spun her around. "I was certain I read…" He suddenly froze, set her down and stepped back, an intense pain filling his eyes. "I…thought I would follow the rumors of your ghost, you know. I…"

Lina blinked. "ZELGADIS?" She exclaimed. She rushed at him full force and tackled him. Caught off guard, he stumbled back and landed on his rear. "Zelgadis!" She growled, putting him in a headlock and ruffling up his hair. "What the hell were you thinking? You never told me you found a cure!!" She tightened the hold.

"Gah! AIR!" Zel managed. "I'm sorry! I was so busy with trying to keep up with the kingdom I forgot! I'm SORRY!"

Lina stiffened and let go, looking down. Then she plastered a smile across her face and grinned at him. "So! Where's Amelia? I'm sure you two would be traveling together, you're such a happy couple…" She said in a voice that she was proud only slightly shook. 

Zelgadis froze and stood up, brushing himself off.

"We're at…differences." 

Lina snorted. "Damn, I wish me an' Gourry were at differences. He just up and divorced me, goddamn bastard." She muttered.

"You too?"


	3. Ever After 02

Lina sat next to Zelgadis, ranting about every subject possible.

Well, every subject an enraged and annoyed sorceress would probably talk about.

After Lina had finished muttering unintelligibly, (actually, it's probably best you don't know what she was saying, it would only burn your poor ears) she had announced that she couldn't think, talk or do anything worth mentioning (AAA! You pervert!) without food. They had therefore gone immediately to the nearest restaurant before Lina killed somebody.

Currently, Zelgadis was getting his ear chewed out by an annoyed sorceress.

"And I can't believe you never even sent me a letter. Honestly, Zel, you'd think you'd keep in touch. But then, I guess that's a false hope, you are male, and--"

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!!" Zelgadis brought up his hands. "What do you mean, Males??"

Lina cut short, and grinned her I'm-not-really-happy-but-I-thought-I-should-grin-right-about-now grins. "Sorry, Zel, I'm kinna pissed off at the male gender right now."

"I'm sorry for being a male."

"Yeesh, cool it."

"If it helps, I'm annoyed at females right now."

***

Tales, folklore, old wives tales… all of them have a grain of truth in them. Each one is made from a tiny bit of realism that gets diluted in the telling, muddied with the waters of creativity and bad memories. But that tiny bit of truth remains, the little reason people do things but don't remember why.

Horseshoes.

Salt.

Black cats.

Mirrors.

Milk on your doorstep.

Dirt from a new grave.

Iron.

Hang a horseshoe on your door; it brings good luck.

Cheapest form of iron, it keeps away _her._

Toss salt over your shoulder if you spill it.

It stings the eyes of _her_ and turns her away,

Black cats crossing your path are bad luck.

_She _rides in their minds, tracks you down.

Mirrors set in front of each other is bad luck, and broken mirrors give you seven years bad luck.

Mirrors set in front of each other make a doorway for _her. _Mirrors broken set _her_ free.

Milk on your doorstep encourages the brownies to help you.

Milk makes _her_ wait until tomorrow, if you're lucky.

Dirt from a new grave keeps out spirits.

The soul of the deceased holds _her_ at bay.

Iron keeps out stray magic.

Iron burns _her_ skin, tears at _her_ soul.

Everything has a bit of truth in it. The oldest stories are usually the most true. Would you like to hear this one?

***

Gold.

Men would come home, late at night, senseless and muttering about _gold._ Women would wake up screaming, terrified from the ethereal sight of wisps of _gold._ Dogs howled, cats hissed, horsed kicked at the sight of _gold._

Not even the metal humans crave so much comes close to the silk feeling, the inner glow, the utter threat of gold.

Don't laugh, child. It's not funny. What this is is a tale so old your grandparents never knew the meaning, a story told so long ago it was never written down. This story is of _her._

Huntress.

Predator.

Beast of the sun.

She stalks in the night, comes just close enough, and vanishes. Then comes back the next day, just a tiny bit closer. And the next. And the next. Driving you insane, tearing at your mind and rendering you insane with fear.

And that's when she strikes.

There are many names for her, many superstitions about her.

Would you like to know the true story?

She was once like you, like me. A young girl, cheerful and bright. With hair as gold as the sun, eyes as silver as the moon.

And one day, she disappeared.

_They _took her. Shadows of darkness, beings of night, _they_ took her. She became feral, evil, dark as the night while bright as the day. 

Ah, yes, the hunt.

She rejoices in the hunt. It's always male. Some say she was jilted by one she gave her heart to long ago. Others say she swore to never be ruled by one but was forced to. Still others say her father beat her. The reason is unknown. 

But she is thrilled by the feel of scaring someone until their heart bursts, chasing them until they're alone and terrified, fighting them until they're worn and tired. She searches, sometimes for centuries, until she finds a young man, a man of great power, strength, steel. She tries to find a challenge. 

She never has. Maybe she'll stop when she does.

So hide in your houses, carry your steel. Throw salt over your shoulder, avoid black cats. She'll find you. All it will do is delay her. All it'll do is make her mad.

And believe me, you don't want her mad. She gets nasty when she's mad.

***

Zelgadis sat and listened to Lina rant. He heard about the evil mother in law, who wanted Lina to be a "sweet, normal girl." He heard about stupid Gourry. He heard about the goddamned sink that was never clear and dammit, she wasn't a plumber and Gourry just looked at it oddly. Lina talked.

A lot.

Zelgadis was afraid his ears would fall off.

"And so THEN, he smiles at me, you know, the smile I fell in love with, the one where it seems like his entire face is lighting up?"

Zelgadis nodded.

"—and he says, cheerful as you please, 'lets get a divorce!'!! As if it was NO big deal. As if this kind of thing happened all the time in relationships. As if… As if it didn't matter."

Zelgadis nodded. "Amelia decided we weren't right for eachother. And it's true, I was withdrawn--"

"You've always been withdrawn. You're the most anti-social person I know. I don't know why you thought you could be a figurehead. Sure, you've got the brains and the strength, but the people skills? Uh uh. Might as well have tried to build a bridge with string. It'll work, but it won't be pleasant."

Zelgadis glared. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"My pleasure."

He sighed. "Well, mainly she dumped me. All the talk about true love and perfection and caring about me exactly as I am, and she divorced me. It wasn't fun."

"I can imagine. She was an idealist, Zel. If things aren't perfect, she decides to change them. And if nothing changed over seven years…"

"Don't you think I know that? Hell, I married her, damnit." Zelgadis glared at his coffee cup. "But…you'd think…"

"You'd think she loved you enough to love you as you are?" Lina asked softly.

Zelgadis slammed his coffee cup down and put his head in his hands. "Damnit, I thought I was through with rejection once I became human again. I…"

"You only wanted happiness, didn't you?" Lina said blandly, looking into space. Zelgadis slowly raised his head to look at her.

"You weren't searching for a cure. You were searching for happiness. You always have." She sighed, and swirled the drink in her glass with a spoon. "You thought strength would bring you happiness. You became obsessed looking for it. Rezo gave you strength, but he also made you different. You thought killing Rezo would bring you happiness, that a finish to your revenge would bring you joy. You devoted yourself to it, worked and worked until you were able to grab your chance. You killed Rezo, but it didn't help. Then you decided that the only way to be happy was to be human again. You devoted yourself to it. You searched and searched. And then you found it. Are you happy?"

"No." Zelgadis slumped.

"That's all you wanted, wasn't it? You went through all this to be happy, didn't you? And just when you thought you were, it all decides to prove to you everything just the same as always."

Zelgadis glared at his coffee. He was lucky it wasn't milk. It would have curdled by now.

"So what's your reason?" He asked softly. "It has to at least be close for you to tell me my problems so easily."

"What? You don't think I was looking for happiness, too?" She smiled weakly at him.

He shrugged. "You always seemed the most cheerful and carefree, I thought. Never really cared." He paused. "I was wrong, wasn't I?"

"Hell yeah." Lina grinned. "I wasn't happy at home. My sister was always beating me up,. Force-feeding my poison and building up my 'tolerance'. If you want to think of her in the best possible light, I suppose you could admit she had a lot of enemies and she didn't want them to use me against her. But she tortured me a hellovalot more than they ever could, simply by the fact that she was my _sister_ doing this. So I left. Went out adventuring. I thought I'd be happy."

"I always thought you were."

"Hah! It was lonely and dangerous. And lets not even _talk_ about some of the psychos I met. So I beat up bandits to take out my aggression. I made Lina inverse, Dra-matta because I thought it would make me happy. And it did, for a while. But I got caught up in the whirlwind, I moved with it for to long and then found I had no handholds left to stop. I was lost in the chaos, the entropy, the meaninglessness. And then… I met him." 

Zelgadis smiled slightly at the wistfullness in her expression.

"I thought he was happiness. He pulled me out of the brushfire, gave me a steady ground against the burning winds." She smiled. "I thought I could finally be who I was, and not someone everyone thought I should be."

"And then she came. Gourry's mother and family, all set in their ways and wanting a sweet little woman for their darling boy. I had to be someone I wasn't. I thought I could live with that, I thought I'd be happy anyway. I was with him.

"But it wasn't. he couldn't help, he didn't even understand why I wasn't happy. And I was awful at the role they gave me to play. That wasn't what I was good at. I'm good at magic. I love it. I love the way it courses through my veins and pumps in my heart and slides down my fingertips. I love the thrill, the rush, the excitement as it swirls through my mind. Do you know that where Gourry comes from, magic in females is evil? I couldn't cast so much as a light spell. And that was killing me. But I thought I could deal with it. After all," Lina snorted. "I was in love."

"Ah." Zelgadis turned to his cup. "Love's not all it's cracked up to be, is it?"

"Damn straight."

They sat in silence, glaring at their drinks. The coffee was starting to curdle.

Lina stood up. "Damnit!! I'm not letting this bring me so far down!! I'm gonna cheer up if it kills me!"

"Oh great…"

"Come one Zel!! Lets beat up some outlaws. It's great stress relief. They should do it in those groups." She stood up, grabbed his arm, and dragged him off.

_A flurry of gold alighted from a tree and followed them. Birds it touched dropped to the ground, dead. The flowers it passed over withered and died. Animals ran and hid to escape it._

It was evil. And it was laughing.

***

Zelgadis grinned. For what it was worth, he was happy right then. He'd been divorced for a month or so, and the pain was starting to loose it's sharpness. And besides, he had someone in the same boat he was, to watch his back and keep him company, and to beat off the staving lonliness with a big stick, if necessary. She never did let him brood very long before she whacked him upside the head and made him talk to her.

Zelgadis grinned, a movement his mouth wasn't very used to. Maybe, just maybe, He was getting over Amelia.

"FIREBALL!!" 

And the bandit beating took out a lot of aggression, too.

_A ray of sunlight that was a bit too gold seemed to smile, if rays of sunlight could, and moved closer to it's little wanderer. It was evil. It was laughing._

And it was marking.

***


	4. Ever After 03

Hushhhh 

Hushhhh 

Hushhhh… 

A streak of gold slicing through the woods. Wolf? No, too thin, too fast. Deer? Too vicious, too lethal. 

Her? 

Zelgadis and Lina were heading back to Seyruun. Yeah, it was the last place he wanted to go, but there was a mage faire there this week, and Lina wanted to go, and… 

Okay, so it was complete bullshit. He wanted to be near Amelia and he knew it. And Lina knew it, too. 

"Zelgadis Greywyrds, there is no way in hell you are going back to Seyruun. All you're going to do is let yourself sink deep into depression and go back into your shell again. I don't think so." 

"So why have we been heading in that direction for the past week? It's only about a day's travel away." 

"… purely subconscious." 

"Gourry's living near there, isn't he?" 

"NO! …well...maybe… I don't know…" 

"ah." Zelgadis crossed his arms and leaned back. They had set up camp in a shaded glen off the road, and were currently roasting the mound of fish Lina had caught. Lina was impatient, as usual, and had neatly scorched her tongue on the fish that weren't cool enough to eat. Therefore, she was cranky, couldn't taste anymore, and wasn't exactly talking very well. You know when you're really tired and can't feel your tongue? Well… 

Lina simply glared at him. 

Zelgadis shrugged. 

"Fine. We'll go there for a little time, and then we'll leave, okay?" 

"Fine." 

"Fine." 

"Fine." 

They sat in silence. 

* * *

Seyruun, home of thousands of humans and non-humans alike, filled with wonder and excitement all wrapped up in a peace so profound that you would almost believe in miracles. The city was alive with streamers, music, and flashes of brilliant color lighting the gray, overcast sky. The feeling of happiness pervaded the cold, pre-winter air as the chill was fended off with bright cloaks and scarves. The mage faire was filled with a pervading sense of happiness and well being, further promoted by the impending winter celebration that year. Everyone and their cat were out buying gifts for the solstice, and everyone and their cat were filled with cheer and good feelings. 

Except for the two people most in need of a good source of happiness. Two foreigners trudged through the gates, muttering and swearing about the blizzard that blew up out of nowhere just out of town. No one knew them, and no one paid attention and the redhead and her cloaked companion stalked between the stalls. 

"Having fun?" Lina let out a harsh whisper to her companion, trying to ignore the biting cold that pervaded even her magic lined cloak. She hated the cold, she really did. Lina tried without success to hold the cloak closer to herself and keep the biting air away from her shivering form. 

Zelgadis merely snorted in response. Both of them were cold, wet, exhausted, and miserable. Neither of them wanted anything but a warm bath and a soft bed, something that was obviously lacking in available inn rooms. Lina wanted to scream. 

Zelgadis wasn't much better off. He had the advantage of a better cloak, which kept the biting chill of the wind from slicing through the openings in it, but it didn't stop the deep ache the cold brought….and he couldn't shake the deep rooted feeling that there was something following him, watching him, marking him. He'd tried to shake off the feeling-nothing sane would be out in this weather when they were in the wilderness, and nothing wild would go into the city. But the feeling only intensified as they passed through the gates, making the usually cold and sarcastic, now freezing and cranky Zelgadis into a very evil-feeling chimera of immediate destruction. 

Or at least that's what it felt like to Lina. 

"Zelgadis Greywyrds, if you glare at one more pedestrian as though you were the angel of death, you will be gelded in a severely unpleasant manner and have your means of reproduction shoved halfway down your throat!" 

"Shut up." 

The tiny redhead stopped short and spun to glare at her sulking companion. He glared back sullenly-the glare of someone who knows they just said something stupid and feels badly about it, but are too cranky to admit it. 

"What did you say?" 

I'm dead already, might as well make the most of it. Zelgadis glared. "I said shut up. I'm sick of your whining, your complaining, your bitching and moaning every time you aren't completely sated and satisfied. You haven't shut up the entire way here, and I'm tired of hearing you whine about the same shit I'm going though. So shut up and do the world a favor." 

Lina made a small 'oh' with her mouth, turned, and smiled sweetly. 

Shit. 

"Is that so, Zelgadis? Well. Isn't that nice." 

"Lina--" 

"Then you can run off on your own, I guess. Seeing as you don't want me around." 

"I didn't say that--" 

"You most certainly did. Fuck off, asshole, and fend for yourself." 

Zelgadis would have followed, he really would have, but a snowball hit him square in the face. By the time he'd wiped the freezing slush from his face, Lina was gone. 

Damnit. 

* * *

SYLPHIEL DEL NADA AND GOURRY GABRIEV'S WEDDING. 

PLEASE ARRIVE ON DECEMBER 10, EARLY MORNING. 

FESTIVITIES WILL LAST AT THE PALACE UNTIL SUNRISE. 

Everyone in the entire city head the enraged shriek that tore through the air, and if you had been close enough you would have seen a furious redhead ripping the sign savagely from the palace wall. 

* * *


	5. Ever After 04

Sailoon, the country of wonder. Sailoon, the country of justice. Sailoon, whose white marble walls rose majestically from the ground, holding fluttering stripes of color to the heavens. Its capital was a city fittingly dubbed the greatest of its time, optimism and happiness pervading everything within its wrought iron gates. Everything down to your neighbor's birdbath was historical and artistic, and people traveled for years to reach its white sparkling glory. Beauty pervaded everything, rendering the free soul breathless and dancing in the sunlight.

Fat lot of good it did the small figure huddled in a forgotten corner beneath the shreds of a tattered announcement. 

Crowds of chattering, happy people walked by the shuddering mass of black cloak, not sparing a glance from the sights above to look down at the half enclosed space off to the side. At first glance it seemed as though someone had carelessly tossed a bundle tied up in black with red spilling over the top. If you stopped to glance. 

No one did. 

If you looked harder, you would see a young girl, no older that 17, huddled in her cloak, shoulders shaking with sobs. If you stopped to look harder. 

No one did that, either. 

If you could hear over the noise, and if you cared to listen, you would hear the heart rending sobs of a soul in utter despair, loss, loneliness and rejection. You would hear her muttering softly in between tears about false perfection. 

If you listened beyond the bustle of happy people. 

No one did. 

Because no one cared. With so much to see, so many wonders to explore... 

Who cares about a sad little girl in a corner? 

Lina dug her fingers into the warm black wool of her cloak as the tears streamed down her face. She knew she should move, she should go somewhere else-- Someone might see her, crying, showing weakness. Someone might judge her. But she couldn't bring herself to move. She held her knees tightly against her chest, shuddering as she gasped for breath in between moans, not bothering to rub the moisture from her cheeks. Snow fell softly about her, and all around people gasped in wonder at the beauty it shrouded the already majestic city in. Lina let the snow fall over her black wool and purple linen cloak, oblivious to the wet spots as it melted and soaked into the dusty clothing. She ignored the rest of the world around her-- it didn't even think she existed anymore. Why should she care if it did? 

And so the crying figure sat on the scrubbed cobbles, sobbing quietly, until people no longer walked the streets. Until the last lagging, laughing pedestrian followed her friends to the closest building, blithely racing past the crying heap under the remaining shreds of cruelty tacked on the board above. 

A hand fell on her shoulder. 

Lina looked up suddenly, following the pale hand cuffed with billowing white linen, up to the angular face twisted in a self-deprecating half smile. The sapphire eyes softened beneath wisps of lavender hair as Zelgadis sat silently beside the trembling figure, who was desperately trying to erase the signs of despair from her tears streaked face. 

"It's a lost cause." He said softly. She looked away, staring at the black leather gloves over slim, shaking hands. "It's obvious you've been crying." 

She laughed slightly, her damp hair falling back into her face from where she'd shoved it to the side. "No one else noticed." She said slowly, smiling a sad smile and letting lose a sound less like a laugh and more like a sob. 

"No one else cares about anything other than a nice warm fire." Zelgadis smoothed the hair back that had found its way into her face, twisting the copper strands behind her ears. "They don't realize there are other things in the world besides themselves." 

"All of them?" 

"All of them." He smiled. "Anyone who didn't stop to look down. Anyone who didn't realize someone was hurting." Zelgadis found her chin beneath the cloak and lifted her face to look at him. "Is this all what I said, or did you see the signs, too?" 

"I saw." She pulled away and stared at the cobbles again. "They're... getting married." She laughed, a bitter, sharp sound. "Didn't take him long to get over me, did it?" 

"He's a moron." It came out a little too sharp, a bit too angry. If either of the two noticed it, they ignored it. 

Lina smiled again, looking at the snow filled sky throwing bits of clouds down to them. "I knew that when I married him," she sighed, letting her head sink into her lap again. "I did it anyway." 

Zelgadis put an arm around her, not too tight for her to shrug off, not too loose to be casual. "He's a fool. There's a difference. He doesn't realize that he hurts you. He thinks once you do something, it's over with." 

"I did too." 

"You learned." 

The two sat in silence for a while, watching as the streets filled with drifts of snow, the lights of the candles in their glass fixtures by the street creating dancing shadows on the blankets of white. Lina lifted her hair, the sunset mane liberally laced with specks of white. She hesitated for a moment, her lips moving around the words she wanted to say, before she threw them into the air between them. 

"Am I annoying?" It wasn't a question she wanted to ask. No one ever asks that question unless they know it's not true, or they're truly terrified that it is. What the asker usually wants is the denial of any truth in the statement, calming the slightest fear inside. 

Lina was afraid. 

"Was it him? Or was it me?" 

"Lina..." Pale hands came up to smooth unruly red hair as Zelgadis smiled with his eyes. "Lina, you're never annoying. It was his foolishness and idiocy letting you go, not yours." 

"You're lying." 

"I'm not, Lina. I mean it. I swear." 

"You lie. You said I was. You said--" Not again... Lina felt tears well up inside and tamped them down, only to have them rise against her once more. Stop it. Stop being so weak! She tried to pull away, to pull herself further inside, away from the bitter cold that had nothing to do with the snow. "You said I was. You said I bitched and moaned any time I wasn't happy. You called me selfish and... and..." To Lina's horror, tears rushed past her tempered defenses and fell from her lashes, splashing silently onto her black leggings and mixing with the soggy remains of the snow. She found herself shaking with sobs again, only this time they weren't ignored. Old, aged self-hatred welled up inside of her as she showed her weaknesses to the only real peer she knew, the only person who seemed to give a damn about her. She disgusted him, she was losing him too, she was weak and stupid and such a little girl... 

"I didn't mean it. I could never mean it. I'm as stupid as he was." Strong arms pulled her into a waiting lap, holding her against a soft suede tunic in acceptance. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." She sobbed herself dry, sitting invisible as the underlying sorrow in a world of joy they were no longer privy to. 

*** 

Laughter echoes across the courtyard, making birds fly from the leafy treetops as the wind swirled stray greenery into arcing, dancing spirals. Sifting clouds floated carelessly across the afternoon sky, mottling the sunlight to fall on a single woman in the crowd. 

She doesn't attract much attention, which is odd. Her long golden hair is what you remember about her-- Nothing else sticks in you mind. The crowd unconsciously moves away from her, leaving a circle about six feet in diameter about her as she moves gracefully about the partygoers. She seems to have taken great interest in a pair at the celebrations who don't seem quite as happy as everyone else. 

The girl is dressed in worn black and purple, her fiery hair dull and lifeless about her shoulders and back. She walks with her eyes trained on the ground, oblivious to the conversations around her. The young man beside morosely stares at his feet, occasionally looking up into the sun as if to see how much longer the day would last. He's in black and white, the purple hair falling into his face no matter how many times he angrily pushes it back. They hang along the edges of the crowd, trying not to see the happiness radiating from the happy couple at the center. 

The woman grins and slinks into the shadows. 

"Lina! Zelgadis!" Lina winced, plastering a false smile across her face, hiding the inner scars ripped open by the sound of that voice. She flipped her hair over her shoulder in a careless manner, cocking her head and letting her cloak fall back to give herself a cocky air. And although it seems rehearsed, fake... 

No one but Zelgadis notices. 

A blonde comes racing up to the two, dragging along a hesiatantly smiling woman with long, raven hair. She stops before the redhead, searching for words, as the blonde attacks poor Zelgadis in a frenzy of excited questions. 

"Wow! Zel, you look great! Did you do something with your hair? There's something different about you." 

"I'm human." 

Sylphiel looked down at Lina, who was still wearing the frozen smile on her face. The woman opens her mouth twice before coming up with something to say. Her voice falls like water, but the words are halting, nervous. 

Afraid. 

_Am I really that scary?_

"You look different with such long hair, Lina. I mean, it was long before, but now it's simply a cascade down your back. It looks lovely." 

"What?" Gourry turned to look at Lina and smiled. Lina's smile faltered slightly. "Wow! You're right, it would be almost to your knees if you didn't have it up in a ponytail! Did it grow that much in a month?" 

A new smile stole over Lina's face, but it wasn't even as real as her first one was. It was more of a twisted frown, flipped and molded until it looked like a grin. 

"No. No, Gourry, it didn't." 

"I don't get it. When did you start growing it so long?" 

"Four... years ago, Gourry." 

The woman in the pure white of a bride moved quickly to salvage the conversation in any way she could. She is careful not to touch the blonde wearing a stylish, expensive tuxedo, even as he gravitates towards her, and she leaps at anything that could pass as a topic. 

"I love your earrings," She says lamely, her own smile faltering as Lina's turns up falsely. "They're... nice." 

The redhead fingers the smooth gold hoops hanging from her earlobes, bared as they were with her sunset hair pulled up with her black hair band. "You think so? I made them." 

"How... nice." Sylphiel says lamely, trying to think of anything to say, anything at all, as Lina slips further and further away from her. She feels hopeless and worried, knowing that she can never really talk to Lina anymore... and frightened by the thought that, deep inside, maybe she doesn't want to. Maybe she just wants to settle down with Gourry and forget his... mistake. 

Maybe she doesn't care about his ex, even if his ex is... was... her friend. 

Sylphiel shoves the betraying thought into the back of her mind, but not before Lina has time to see it in her eyes. 

"Wow, Zel, aren't you married? Why aren't you with Amelia?" 

"I'm... surprised you remember that." 

"Well, yeah, Lina and I got married next to you two." 

Lina and Zelgadis both slumped slightly, as more weight was cheerfully dumped atop their shoulders by an oblivious, if well meaning, once was, friend. 

"So how are you two, anyways?" 

"We're... divorced." Zelgadis works to get the words out... somehow they hurt more than when he first said them to Lina. His false smile falls slightly as Lina moves closer to him, trying to give him strength. Unfortunately, she'd lost much of her own. She had nothing to give. 

"Really? Wow! Me and Lina are, too!" 

Sylphiel smiles quickly and excuses them, pulling Gourry off before he can push his foot further into his mouth. Lina's smile is as bright and sad as her eyes, and Zelgadis touches her shoulder before moving away to sit down. She saunters over to the buffet, but if anyone cared enough to notice, they would see she wasn't eating anything. 

No one did. *** 

"Zelgadis?" 

Cerulean eyes snap up to stare at the woman before them. Amelia's white magic kept away the effects of the black, letting her age naturally... and the years had done wonders for a figure that was nice to begin with. Legs up to her neck and an hourglass figure that truly made the queen of Sailoon the "Star of the country", a beautiful, personable figurehead of pure, classic beauty. She wore a pale pink dress that hugged her waist and flared out, cloth draping over her perfect shoulders and diamonds sparkling around her neck. Zelgadis' mouth went dry as she say next to him, exactly as he always had, as his heart sped up and skipped erratically. She looked at the sun, slowly setting over the treetops, and smiled, looking straight through him. If he noticed, she might have been looking at him. She might have been looking at what she thought she saw. Or she might be looking at what she wanted to see. But he was too breathless to care. 

"How are you doing?" 

Zelgadis bit back the stuttering, automatic reply and thought about it. "Terrible," He finally decided, leaning back. If he was miserable, she wouldn't care. "You?" 

"I miss you." 

Zelgadis' world dissolved into nothing as he stared wide eyes at the woman smiling hopefully at him. Twenty five years old, she looked younger, her blue eyes sparkling with something he didn't recognize. Blood rushed in his ears as he tried to think, tried to see past the rush of emotions that swelled up inside of him, tried to reason with himself against the frantic surge of hope that welled up and crashed over him in a sea of blue desperation. 

"Do you?" He managed weakly, purple wisps of hair falling into sad, too-old eyes. "I wouldn't have thought so." 

She nodded, moving closer. Zelgadis' world narrowed to the white gloved had closing on his and forgot everything. Forgot the month of pain, forgot the day of anguish, forgot the loss and loneliness and betrayal. Amelia sighed, raising her other hand to his face. Her shell-pink lips curved into a smile that made him melt, and she smelled like roses and ground pearls, just like she always had. Her thick black hair fell in perfect waves to her shoulders as she tipped her head forward, staring into cerulean eyes that could only stare. Her mouth opened and uttered the words that ripped at Zelgadis' will and reality-- 

"Want to... start again?" 

"You utter and complete heartless bitch!!" Both Zelgadis and Amelia turned to the appalled redhead that stared at them with enraged ruby eyes, her black gloved fists clenching in anger. Her red hair fell like wildfire over her delicate shoulders swathed in purple, and she looked ready to leap at Amelia's throat at any moment. She advanced on the startled queen of Sailoon, fire flickering behind her eyes. "How dare you come running back to him? You threw him aside because you couldn't change him, and now you're pulling him back because you feel guilty! Because you don't have anyone to hold you anymore!" Amelia stood angrily, insulted and infuriated, and Lina continued. "You don't care if you hurt him again if you find out you were right the first time, you just don't want to be alone! You don't care about him, how dare you pretend to!" Lina hissed, spitting out the words with such venom that Zelgadis was completely taken aback. 

Amelia snarled and glared at Lina, and there was no trace of friendship in her eyes. "Shut up, Lina," She hissed, her words turning bitter as she let them loose like poison. "Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you have to be a bitch about it." She moved towards Zelgadis, looking for unspoken support. 

He was still. Amelia's eyes grew in anger as Zelgadis leaned forward and put his chin in his hands, as if thinking. She turned furiously towards Lina, throwing her anger into her words, making them swords that pierced at her heart. 

"Gourry dumped you and you don't want anyone else to be happy! You were always like this, Lina, always! You only care about yourself-- you only want Zelgadis to be sad so you have some company. You--" 

"Amelia, don't you dare talk to Lina like that." Both pairs of feuding eyes snapped towards Zelgadis, who rose to meet Lina's. Even though he didn't need to check to know the truth, he saw no jealousy beneath the anger-- only worry. 

Concern. 

"What?" Amelia managed, her shoulders slumping. Zelgadis pushed on. 

"I said don't talk like that to Lina. She's already in agony, you don't have to rub salt in her wounds. And she's not jealous." He moved to Lina's side, glaring down at the beautiful woman who was still so young. "Don't you ever accuse Lina of that again. She's the only goddamned soul who gives a damn about me, no matter how much you've convinced yourself otherwise. And she's right." 

Amelia's eyes slitted, fists clenching inside their pristine white gloves. "You're right Zelgadis. I was a fool to think you could try again. I was a fool to think you could be anything but a spiteful, bitter jerk who is wrapped around the finger of that conniving slut. I'm sorry to have bothered you." She spun on a perfect white heel and stalked off, ignoring the concerned looks. 

And Zelgadis collapsed into his seat once again, self-disgust and despair crashing into him. Lina clapped him on the back and grinned. 

"We sure showed her, huh, Zel?" 

Silence. Lina looked down at his slumped form, his face buried in his hands, and sat immediately next to him, her black wool cloak draping over the seat and her boot heels clicking against one another. "Zel?" 

"I blew it." He whispered, ignoring the darkness falling around them as the sun left the sky, and the crown moving slowly towards the palace. "I blew my only chance. I love her, and now I'll never... I'll never..." 

Lina held him tightly, rocking him slowly, "No." She hissed into his ear, clutching him tighter. "You're wrong, Zel." 

"I can't even..." 

"Zelgadis, listen to me." Lina took him by the chin and forced his face towards her, glaring into his eyes. "She didn't-- doesn't love you. You know that. She would have just hurt you more. You need to let go. All she'll do is rip you apart inside!" He looked away, and she jerked him back to face her. "Zelgadis, she only wanted comfort for her guilt and lonliness. You were the easy answer. Don't let her hurt you like this. Please." 

"Without her.." Zelgadis chlenched his teeth and closed his eyes against tears. "Without her, I'm--" 

"Don't say it!" He looked suddenly back up and Lina, whose eyes were bright with suffocated tears. "Don't you dare say it! You're not alone, you're never alone, I swear to you forever! I'm here for you, no matter what, I'll do anything for you. Anything! I will never betray you, I promise, and you will never be alone! Ever!" 

Zelgadis desperately searched for words, anything to convey his astoundment and gratitude. 

"Thank you." Zelgadis smiled. 

After all, it came the closest. 


End file.
